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The Marriage Psalm
By
Rev. Todd
W. Allen
Villa Rica 05/23/04
Psalm 45:1-17
A farmer's boy decided to get
married. His father
Said to
him, "John, when you get married, your
liberty is
gone."
The boy
said he did not believe it. The father
said, "I'll prove it to you. Catch a dozen
chickens, tie their legs together and put
them in the wagon. Hitch up the two horses
to the wagon and drive into town. Stop at
every house you come to, and wherever you
find the man is boss, give him a horse.
Wherever you find the woman is boss, give
her a chicken. You'll give away all your
chickens and come back with two horses."
The boy
accepted the proposition and drove to
town. He had stopped at every house and
had given away ten chickens when he came
to a nice little house and saw an old man
and his wife standing out on the front
lawn. He called to them and asked, "Who is
boss here?"
The man
said, "I am" Turning to the woman, the boy
said, "Is he boss?" The woman replied,
"Yes, he's boss." The boy asked them to
come down to the street. He then explained
his reason for asking and told the man to
pick out one of the horses. He said he
would bring the horse back to him that
afternoon. The old man and the old lady
looked over the horses carefully, and the
husband said, "I think the black horse is
the better of the two."
The
wife then said, "I think that bay horse is
in every way the better horse. I would
choose him."
The old
man took a careful look at the bay horse
and said, "I guess I'll take the bay
horse."
The boy
smiled and said, "No, you won't; you'll
take a chicken." --James S. Hewett,
Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale
House Publishers, Inc, 1988), p. 336
I guess we
could say that in the very first marriage
Eve was the boss in that momentous
decision to eat from the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil but God held
Adam responsible..
God
determined that it was not good for man to
be alone and so he provided a wife for
Adam. She would be a helpmeet for him and
therefore God made the woman to complement
and complete the man. Without Eve Adam was
not all that he could be and should be.
They did make a terrible mistake when they
turned aside from the Word of God.
But Adam’s
wife was meant to be the other half of the
moon. He needed a wife in order to reflect
the full beauty and glory of the image of
God in him and to fulfill his destiny. And
she would find her fulfillment in her
husband. She was told that her desire
would be for her husband and that he would
rule over her.
Marriage
in a fallen world is never perfect but it
is still the best relationship for man and
woman to know love and companionship this
side of heaven.
God uses
marriage to express the sublime
relationship that will exist between
Himself and the saved sinners that were to
be given dominion over all that he has
made. John in his heavenly vision saw the
climactic marriage event that will
finalize God’s holy purpose for the Lamb
who sacrificed himself for his Bride,
which is the Church. Rev. 19:7-9
“Let us rejoice and be glad and give the
glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb
has come and His bride has made herself
ready.” 8It was given to her to
clothe herself in fine linen, bright
and clean; for the fine linen is the
righteous acts of the saints.
9Then
he said* to me, “Write,
‘Blessed are those who are invited to the
marriage supper of the Lamb.’” And he said*
to me, “These are true words
of God.
Clearly,
marriage is intended to be a solemn and
sacred institution.
The 45th psalm speaks of the
royal marriage in which Christ is the
Bridegroom and the Church is his heavenly
bride. But this Psalm may also be used as
a divine guide for a maid seeking a
suitable husband and a man looking for a
bride. The excellent character qualities
of the Messianic Bridegroom ought to be
the qualities she looks for in her future
husband and those of the heavenly bride
ought to be what he looks for in his
future wife. She may not find a man in
this fallen world who perfectly meets the
qualifications and he may not find the
perfect bride but they should look for the
sublime qualities recorded in this Psalm.
As time
permits we will speak first of the
character qualities of the bridegroom and
then look at the qualities to look for in
the bride.
The Psalmist writes of this
messianic king,
You
Are fairer than the sons of men;
Therefore God has blessed You forever.
A woman
should look for excellence in her
bridegroom. He must first and foremost be
a genuine Christian, one who has the
imputed righteousness of the Lord Jesus
Christ. He is to be a reflection of Jesus
Christ who is the fairest of ten thousand.
Jesus has
all the beauty of holiness and
righteousness. In Him dwelt all the
fullness of the Godhead bodily. His human
nature was perfect and His character was
beautiful in every respect. He had love in
fullest measure. He had righteousness in
the purest sense possible. His mercy was
beyond degree, for he carne to redeem
those who were his enemies.
We are
warned in the scriptures not to be
unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Surely
the first consideration of unwed ladies
should be that her future husband be a
professing, committed Christian and
likewise the man looking for that special
lady to be his wife.
We read
in verse 2
Grace is poured upon
Your lips; Therefore God has blessed
You forever.
Ladies,
in looking for a life companion look
for a man of attractive speech. You will
not be happy with a
man of
vulgarity or a foul tongue. Avoid a man
who speaks unkind, cutting words. Find for
yourself a man of
a gracious
and pleasing speech. Flee from a man with
a dirty mouth and harsh words of
criticism. If he uses bad
language
to put other people down it should be a
warning to you. If he speaks ill of others
he will no doubt do the
same in
your marriage and you may well be the one
he speaks ill of; you will probably end up
being the butt of
his jokes
and unkind remarks.
Jesus has in his mouth the
blessings of heaven. He has mercy beyond
degree. His words are merciful
toward the
sinner. In his lips are words of
forgiveness of sin and eternal life. He is
the great Trustee of all
mankind’s
blessings; therefore God has blessed him
forever. As Paul wrote the to the
Ephesians:
3Blessed
be
the God and Father of our Lord Jesus
Christ, who has blessed us with
every spiritual blessing in the heavenly
places in Christ, Eph.1:3
Ask
yourself, is this man I am considering
marrying blessed of God? Does he have the
evidences of
heavenly
spirituality? Does he attend church and
attend upon his Word? Is he a man of
prayer?
This royal king is a man of
valor and courage. We Read in verse 3,
Gird Your sword on Your
thigh, O Mighty One, In Your
splendor and Your majesty! And in Your
majesty
ride on victoriously, For the causeof
truth and meekness and
righteousness;
The Psalmist says this Bridegroom is
a noble protector and he is willing and
ready to take a stand for
truth,
righteousness and justice. He will never
fail in his battle for truth. So look for
a man who has that protective
character
quality, who would be willing to fight if
necessary for what he believes is right, a
chivalrous man,
a man who
will take a stand for God, family and
country.
The sword at his thigh is the symbol of
authority. You will want a man who can
preside in your home with loving authority
and justice, a man who puts truth as his
watchword, a man of honesty and integrity.
Look for a man who follows God in humility
and right living as the Messianic King
does.
7
You have loved righteousness and hated
wickedness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed
You With the oil of joy above Your
fellows.
8
All Your garments are fragrant with
myrrh and aloes and cassia;
Out of ivory palaces stringed
instruments have made You glad.
Because
he loves righteousness he is a pleasant to
be around. He has the oil of gladness upon
him, both in his walk and in his talk. Do
you want to marry a grouch or would you
prefer a cheerful mate? The royal
bridegroom radiates fragrant speech and is
uplifting to be with. His company is
desirable and full of joy. Life is good
with this husband. Look for a man of
gracious words and acts of kindness.
Martin Luther observed, “To have
peace and love in a marriage is a gift
that is next to the knowledge of the
gospel.”
The bride of
this royal king is wonderfully blessed.
She is gorgeously dressed in the finest
apparel. On her wedding day she has the
attire of a queen placed upon her. In her
entourage are virgin companions. Thus we
see hints of wedding customs in present
day weddings.
The royal king
has a bride who has left her father’s
house to place herself under his care and
support. He is a husband who provides for
his wife and family. She does not have to
be the breadwinner. She can rely on him to
work for her and their family. He is not
slothful or evasive of his
responsibilities. She can depend on him to
do his very best to provide for his
household.
What this
bridegroom looks for in his bride is
fidelity and loyalty. He wants a wife who
is faithful and true. She is submissive to
this husband because he excels all others
in her life. He has won her heart and she
has eyes for none but him.
This bridegroom
delights in his bride because she is pure
of heart and mind. She is all glorious
within, meaning she is sanctified and been
made holy before she is presented to him
as his virgin bride. The royal bridegroom
will have such a perfect bride because he
makes her so. She is redeemed by him and
sanctified by him before that wedding day
takes place in heaven. But it is fair to
say that the earthly man looking for a
bride has these same qualifications in
mind when he looks for a wife. He wants a
virtuous wife, a trusted companion.
I recall a case
I know of in which a young lady began
living with an army officer overseas. She
had high hopes of marrying this man when
the war was over and they both got back
home. He had promised her that they would
marry. But when he got back to the states
he dumped her and found another woman to
marry. Her heart was broken.
The lesson in
that is this. This army officer wanted for
a wife one who had not given herself to
him outside of marriage. He wanted a
virtuous wife he felt he could trust and
she wasn’t it.
In verse 10 the
Psalmist says that she is willing to
forget her people and leave her father’s
house in order to cleave to him. When we
marry we establish a new family unit and
the person you marry will become your
immediate and familiar family. This does
not mean that you no longer have any tie
to your birth family and pre marriage
associations but it does mean that you
will recognize the priority of your
married status as a new covenant
relationship that takes priority over
former family relationships. This
principle applies to both husband and
wife. But happy marriages do not ignore or
disregard those premarriage family ties.
There are certainly occasions when both
sides of the family can be visited and
fellowshipped with without violating the
new covenant relationship.
V. 11 The bride
in this psalm has beauty that attracts the
groom to her. She undoubtedly cares for
her person and shows it by her carefulness
in her dress and her conduct. Because she
is one of Christ’s handmaidens she seeks
to please Christ and that is her driving
force. And that motivation only makes her
more attractive to her suitor.
V12 She is
showered with gifts and her status goes up
because of whom she is marrying. He wants
a wife he can show off and gladly
introduce. She wants a husband who can
promote her status and improve her
welfare. They are a complement to each
other and others recognize it. When you
see one you think of the other. They are
joined in a oneness of favoritism and
bliss.
V. 15 He is
enthralled with her person and delights in
being with her. He wants to spend his life
cherishing her and caring for her and
having her as a queen in his palace.
V. 16 He sees
her as the mother of his children and
there is great promise for future joy and
happiness together. These are the
delightful fruits of a good marriage.
Let me leave you with these
thoughts.
1.
Look before you leap. Ask yourself,
what thoughts and attitudes are in my
heart about getting married? By all
means look for a husband or wife who will
have such Biblical qualifications? You
will find the same qualifications we have
noted in this Psalm in the New Testament.
2.
Don’t make the mistake of
thinking you can convert your future mate
after you marry. Either avoid marriage
with that unbelieving person or at least
wait until you know he or she has already
become a committed Christian and has
become active in a Bible believing church
before you marry. There are enough
adjustments in marriage without yoking
yourself to an unbelieving soul mate.
3. Lastly,
for those of you who are already married I
urge you to review your marriage and see
if there are things you can do to more
closely meet the qualifications of Psalm
45. We are all a work in progress. We can
ask our heavenly bridegroom to work the
grace of sanctification is us and promise
him our fullest cooperation as he does
that work of grace in us. You will have a
happier and better marriage if you will
strive to do that.
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The paper and sermon manuscripts from
Pastor
Todd W. Allen
are made freely available for review and
distribution. We only request that proper
web page attribution be provided if
distributed for any reason. Please be
gracious to forgive typos and errors of
expression. These notes are faithful
approximations of what has been preached.
May God be glorified in the preaching of
His Word. |